Been there… done that! And now still working out,, To be honest, I think I’ve been in this kind of relationship for three times… (well, I’m pretty not sure hahahhaa). I can definitely recall my happy moments and of course some difficult times because of the distance we had. In fact the last one I had was based purely on long distance with numerous times of the actual get together. I think he even mentioned that we had a ’bbm relationship’, or something like ‘i think we spent more time dating our gadgets than being with each other’ hahahaha. Anyways, having a long distance relationship is always tough, I failed all two,hopefully the last won't be same. The question now, is it possible with a future successful ending? Do you think long-distance relationship doable?
Well, let us explore what long term relationship is all about. Wikipedia explains long-distance relationship as, “a typically intimate relationship that takes place when the couple is separated by a considerable distance.” So it is a relationship that is intimate and the couple is separated by some amount of distance. Many interpretations could come from this explanation. One could ask whether the distance comes after the relationship was established or the other way around. Online dating has open the opportunity of knowing people without necessarily meeting them in person.
Many would interpret differently on the term ‘considerable distance’. Distance has become a vague term these days. You can measure distance by miles distance, travel time distance, or free time to meet distance. Some might have miles distance but they meet often because of the transportation technology. Miles distance has been reduced to mere travel time distance. If you are only two hours away (by plane), and you can afford it, the relationship will not be a problem. If you live in the same city, but traffic has stopped you from seeing each other often (let say you have to travel 3 hours from Bekasi to Bintaro in Jakarta), you can call that a long distance relationship as well. Now, your career can also stops you from seeing each other often. If you are only able to see your partner once a week during weekend, it would be the same with people whom I know live in another city but come to see their partner once a week on weekend. Shortly, you might have a long distance relationship without even realizing that you have one.
Technology has made long distance relationship more doable. According to Wikipedia, means of communication for this type of relationship are: cell phones or blackberries, emails, online chatting, video conference, skype, instant messaging, letters, sms, shared online activities, such as playing online games together, and shared offline activities such as watching the same movie while talking on the phone or chatting (Note: I think I didn't tried all that hahahaha). In my experience, you can even do greater things with technology. For instance, when you want to send flowers or gifts to your loved ones, you are able to do it by credit card, and your gifts shall be delivered in time. Isn’t it great? Now, imagine what people did in the old days when they only have letters by seamail.
Now, there are some advantages from long-distance relationship (LDR). LDR actually helps us to understand our relationship better from the conversations we made with our partners. Without phsycal intimacy, conversations take over the whole relation. This eventually will bring the relation into a deeper level of understanding of your thoughts and ideas.
This will clear up the whole basis of yor relationship, whether you are more attracted to each other based on physical needs or emotional needs. You are free to think about the relationship without any strings attached.
However, I can mention a plentiful downsides of LDR. You don’t know what your partner is doing unless they tell you. You can’t come and see him/her when you need them in the middle of the night. You can’t hug them when she/he is in times of trouble.You can’t accompany them when he/she really need a doctor and say :"everything's gonna be okay". You can’t meet them physically. Sometimes technology puts you down. Numerous negative things can emerge from LDR.
I have friends who are having LDR at the moment. Some of them are married, such as Harland (his name is mentioned with permission hahaha) who is expecting his first baby within 3 months time. I imagine that having such distance must be very hard for him and Rosa, his wife. Again, this kind of relationship can only happen based on strong commitments. I have some friends that have their girl/boyfriend back home in Indonesia. This is also tough for them. The hardest part is when they needed their partner the most and they can’t see each other. That is very frustrating.
Now I will come to my point about LDR. I think LDR opens up a lot of new perspectives of your relationship. It is actually good to be away from your partner for some amount of time. But if you are away for a long period of time without any realistic chance of seeing each other in the future, then I think you better stop it. It is not healthy for you or for your partner. I’m just being realistic tough I have my own hopelessly romantic side. I think I had learn my lessons, because as for now, 2 zones Padang - Jakarta distance is the most realistic option for me hahahahaha...
#sedanggalau2nya :p
